Layperson Definition

1.  A person who sees a crime happen and then tells a jury about it.  And even though they’re nervous, they’re really good at it and the judge lets him/her tell his/her whole story and it’s powerful and moving and guarantees justice.

Ex: The prosecution’s key witness in every episode of every Law and Order ever (except the handfull of episodes where they try to show how the State loves justice and it’s defendant/Constitution friendly)

2.  A person who is inexplicably expert about something who the judge lets testify based on some wisecrack who blows open the case and wins it for everyone.

Ex: Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny (best law movie ever, btw).

3.  A person who has been extremely well prepared by the attorney for the side they are testifying for so that they are totally ready for everything.

Ex: Pretty much any witness in the show Damages.

Lawyer/Law Student Definition

1.  A regular human being who currently has their real life going on, on top of the pressure of being important to what is likely someone else’s case for money damages, since criminal issues rarely go to trial.  You can try to prep, but at the end of the day there’s really not much you can do other than tell them to just tell the truth—which they will likely do in the most defensive way possible, resulting in questions about their veracity.

Ex: Cross examining attorney asks yes or no question, Witness: “Well, I don’t know if I would say it like that.  What I meant to say—” Abruptly cut off by judge and/or counsel for being non-responsive.

2.  A person who will likely only be able to testify to about 1/2 of what you want from them based on the likelihood of opposing counsel’s objections being sustained.

wheninlawschool:

I’m like:

littlelegal:

STUDYING FOR FINALS….

ME, DURING THE EXAM….

AFTER FINALS….

wheninlawschool:

wheninlawschool:

I’m like:

legal-savvy:

1. How to footnote

2. How to speed read

3. How to live on less sleep

4. How to not have fun

5. How to make sure none of my non-law school friends have fun when around me :(

Any other Lawblrs who’ve gotten more than that out of their degrees so far?

legal-savvy: